just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
