just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize