you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
