i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
