She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
