Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
