You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
