Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
