so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize