We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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