I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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