Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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