just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You are a genius and a whore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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