never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
