I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
