There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
