By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
