You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
