If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
