Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
