By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
