did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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