We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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