Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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