Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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