ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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