I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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