We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just pee around me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
