Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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