Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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