Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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