Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I hate all girls vehemently.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
