She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You made out with two different species that night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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