I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
