What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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