We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
