Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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