I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
