why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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