I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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