I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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