I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you would pick up someone in the library
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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