Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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