Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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