well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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