That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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