oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
