whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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