belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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