He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
