Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
