I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
