The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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