his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
