is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
