I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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