Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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