if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Never underestimate the power of titties
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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