when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
