U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
