also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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