Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
