"it" just moved
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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