dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
