This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There's even glitter on my cock...
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