The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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